I’m a Barbie Girl, Living in a Barbie World.
This week we’re taking a break from my advice and sob stories to make time for something we can all get overly and irrationally excited about, BEAUTY.
Anyone who knows me knows my relationship with makeup is an “allegedly” unhealthy one. Their justification for these blasphemous accusations? I may or may not have been caught shedding tears over nearly missing my yearly VIB goals at Sephora. But before you judge me or my spending habits, know that I’d sacrifice some of my most prized possessions in this world (ie: my blonde balayage highlights) for a place I consider my home away from home. And if you’re wondering how I could ever consider a beauty makeup chain retailer my second home, go ask my favorite perfume expert at the Dallas location what soup he intended to buy me when he offered to personally deliver some to my apartment after my upcoming back surgery. I have two biological brothers in this world and neither one knows jack about which perfume best compliments me or just how greatly I appreciate people waiting on me while I remain bed-bound. What I’m trying to say is sometimes perfume is thicker than water and this was one of those times.
Going against the “less is more” mentality, I consider a natural everyday makeup look to be one that includes copious amounts of highlight and Barbie pink glitter on my eyelids. What? Sparkles can be subtle...
Since makeup is my everything, I wanted to tell you babes the top five makeup products I simply cannot live without. Like if someone saw my makeup collection, which resembles a glittery rainbow-colored version of the debacles you see on the TV show Hoarders, and they said I needed to walk away from this lifestyle, I would look that person square in the eye and swallow the following items in order to avoid parting with them.
IT Cosmetics CC Cream: Let me just start with admitting that my skin isn’t awful and I therefore am one of the lucky ones that doesn’t have to use an actual foundation. I’m not saying I’m on par with Khloe Kardashian or anything (Khloe, because Kim, ew) but thankfully I don’t need a ton of thick product to hide all of my blemishes and imperfections. What I choose instead is a ton of thin product such as this CC cream, which has excellent coverage and is light as a feather on my skin. So while achieving that dewy look we all so desire I’m not clogging my pores. Well actually I am, but like, slowly, so it's fine.
Maybelline Instant Age Rewind Eraser Dark Circle Treatment Concealer/Highlighter: THIS, my friends, is a hidden gem. Typically I loathe drugstore makeup and DON’T even get me started on the “options” in the cosmetic section of the grocery store. My friends know that if they want to ride with me, it’s Sephora or bust and this product is one of the only exceptions to the rule. First of all, the sponge applicator is amazing because it holds the product really well and doesn’t absorb any of the makeup itself like a beauty blender is known to do. (But I somehow still love beauty blenders, so ugh it’s a complicated love triangle I guess. So, I don’t know, sorry that I sometimes cheat on you Maybelline with your lesser counterpart). Second, it is so pigmented and therefore gives me great coverage. Being that I’m mildly extra (“mildly”), I like to apply a layer of the concealer and then a layer of the highlighter. Because if your face doesn’t catch the light and reflect it like laser beams back into the eyes of on looking admirers, what on earth is the point of putting on any makeup at all?
Kat Von D Contour Palette: Three words for you: BLENDABLE. AS. SHIT. I used to use the Anastasia contour palette and while I loved that under eye banana-colored highlight, it was truly a challenge to blend. Although if I’m being honest, it could come down to user error because my technique for contour involves drawing one dirty dark brown line across both my cheeks and blending until my early onset arthritis kicks in. Regardless, the Kat Von D looks so much more natural with my skin and half the effort even if I’m going for a darker more dramatic night look. Love love LOVE this product. Also, they just came out with new packaging so you can buy each color individually rather than the entire palette altogether. Let me just say that as a Jew this packaging news felt like Christmas morning to me (Jewish princess… Christmas morning… go with it).
Anastasia Ultimate Glow Kit: Have you tried this product yet? HAVE YOU? It’s everything and more. Six shades, SIX. No matter which color I use, I shine and it’s super long lasting. Which, for some people might not be important but as an event planner I have some days that start at 7:00am and last until 12:00am, so I need my makeup to do its job and cling to my skin like it’s Kate clinging to the floatable device even after Leo clearly expresses general interest in having a turn on it.
‘They’re Real’ Benefit Mascara: Last but certainly not least is my go-to mascara. Here’s the tricky thing about mascara though; it’s 90% all about preference so I know there’s no real point in trying to sway any of you readers. But regardless of whichever brand you use, here’s a useful fun fact: I only ever buy the travel size. Why, you ask? Because the large bottle dries out in the same amount of time the small one does and there is nothing worse than flaky dry mascara, NOTHING. (I’m typing this with a back brace on and I’m currently bloating. Flaky mascara = still worse).
So there you have it. Please note that these are of course not the only products I use. I have more bags, clear glass drawers, and cabinets filled with makeup than most drag queens. But to me, makeup is all about choices. Skin changes, trends change, and preferences change. What remains consistent is when I get in front of my mirror every morning and imagine that I am Picasso, tenderly lifting his beauty blender and pondering the first stroke as if commissioned to paint a portrait of Beyonce for Beyonce. The pressure is crazy you guys.
You can buy these gems at your local, say it with me, Sephora and Ulta stores. Just in case any of these sound like the perfect next buy that will bring you one dollar closer to your personal Sephora VIB goals. I've also added some of my favorite beauty guru's tutorials below. These ladies know exactly what's up when it comes to beauty, so follow along. Also, I’m sorry in advance if you’re anything like me and now that you’re headed to sephora.com you’ll likely also meander on over to Nordstrom, Anthro, Warby Parker, Urban, etc. So, time to bid you adieu. We have a lot of shopping to do. BYEEEEEEE.
